Category Archives: healing

Keeping Your Butt in the Chair and Out of the Fire

After sharing my experience with burnout, I thought it might be wise to talk about the more common symptoms and how they manifest in most people.  Again, symptoms are always unique for each of us. But having said that, there … Continue reading

Posted in healing, Louise Behiel | Tagged , | 69 Comments

4 Stages of Healing from Childhood Abuse

Over the years, I have worked with many victims of abuse, women or men who were abused in childhood (I do not work with children).  Sometimes the abuse consisted of neglect; often it was physical, and emotional.  For many, it … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery | Tagged , , , | 33 Comments

How Do The Roles Play Out In Codependency?

As explained earlier, the roles learned by children are usually played out in adulthood.  How would each of the roles adopt the role of codependent?  It’s a little complicated but I’ll try to simplify as much as I can. Hero … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, Alcoholism, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

3.5 Steps to Lasting Personal Change

Over the past few months, this blog has explored the roles, rules and characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren families.  We’ve talked about your personal lives, families, friends and characters.  But one constant has been the question: “Okay, that’s … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 44 Comments

The Most Common Characteristics of Adult Children

The next three characteristics are common in all the roles.  In fact, I think they’re common in all people – well everyone I know, especially the last two. Overreact to changes over which they have no control. Constantly seek approval … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

Incompletes, Dishonesty and Merciless Judgment: 3 More Characteristics

The next three characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren homes are: (please see the previous post for the source of this list)Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, healing, Louise Behiel | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

From 4 Roles to 3 Rules

Parents are emotionally unavailable because of an issue in their life which the spouse wants resolved.  For example, a mother works full time plus.  She is successful in her job but works nienty hours a week.  Everyone wants to see … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, self help | Tagged , , | 37 Comments

Big Families and Small Ones: What About the Roles?

Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent.  Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 28 Comments

The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain

The last of the four roles is the Mascot.  As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation.  It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness

A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally.  In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , , , | 21 Comments