Category Archives: adult children

How Deep are the Scars of Abuse?

A number of people have contacted me  over the past few months, wanting to talk about their victimization. These emails describe a wide range of feelings, reactions and heartbreak. For adults who were abused as children, the emotional outcome is … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, Louise Behiel | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

How Do You Define Success?

I had dinner Saturday evening with one of my girlfriends and we got into a deep conversation about a variety of topics.  But the one that had me thinking all evening and most of today was a simple question she … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, Louise Behiel, Roles | Tagged , , | 53 Comments

How Do The Roles Play Out In Codependency?

As explained earlier, the roles learned by children are usually played out in adulthood.  How would each of the roles adopt the role of codependent?  It’s a little complicated but I’ll try to simplify as much as I can. Hero … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, Alcoholism, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

The Last 3 Characteristics of Adult Children

We have reached the last 3 characteristics of adults raised in emotionally barren families. 1. Are super responsible or super irresponsible. 2. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. 3. Are impulsive. They … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, ACOA, adult children, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, child abuse, Louise Behiel, Resolutions | Tagged , , , | 48 Comments

The Most Common Characteristics of Adult Children

The next three characteristics are common in all the roles.  In fact, I think they’re common in all people – well everyone I know, especially the last two. Overreact to changes over which they have no control. Constantly seek approval … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

Three More Characteristics of Children from Troubled Families

As mentioned before, these characteristics first evolved from work with adult children of alcoholics but have now been generalized to anyone raised in an emotionally barren family. In the last two posts we discussed characteristics 1 – 4.  Today we’ll … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Incompletes, Dishonesty and Merciless Judgment: 3 More Characteristics

The next three characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren homes are: (please see the previous post for the source of this list)Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, healing, Louise Behiel | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

13 Characteristics of Children From Emotionally Barren Families

As previously explained, the initial work on the roles learned by children and the rules they live by was completed looking at adult children of alcoholics.  Over time, it became clear that these roles and rules applied to any child … Continue reading

Posted in ACOA, adult children, Louise Behiel | Tagged , , | 33 Comments

Relationship and Rules

As discussed Monday, children raised in emotionally empty homes grow up with three rules: Don’t talk Don’t trust Don’t Feel. It is also true, as mentioned by Lisa Hall Wilson, that living by these rules can be caused by bullying … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, Louise Behiel, self help | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

From 4 Roles to 3 Rules

Parents are emotionally unavailable because of an issue in their life which the spouse wants resolved.  For example, a mother works full time plus.  She is successful in her job but works nienty hours a week.  Everyone wants to see … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, self help | Tagged , , | 37 Comments