Monthly Archives: March 2012

Roles and Relationships

One of the interesting things about working with adults raised by emotionally absent parents is that they form the foundation for the next generation, unless the adult child does something to change their way of being in the world.  And … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, Louise Behiel | Tagged , , | 24 Comments

Big Families and Small Ones: What About the Roles?

Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent.  Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 28 Comments

Tag I’m It! A Writer’s Game of 7

Unusual for me to post on a Friday but I was tagged by Alyssa Palmer, in a game of LUCKY SEVEN. A writer tagged in this game goes to page 77 of their WIP  (or in my case, my latest release, … Continue reading

Posted in Louise Behiel, writing | Tagged , | 8 Comments

The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain

The last of the four roles is the Mascot.  As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation.  It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

The Mascot: It’s Not all Fun and Games

The last of the four roles to discuss is “The Mascot”. This role is usually taken on by one of the two youngest children in a home with an emotionally absent parent. When confronted with the stress in the family, … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , | 28 Comments

The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness

A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally.  In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, child abuse, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , , , | 21 Comments

The Lost Child: Invisible and Unheard

The third of the four roles is the Lost Child.  Remember, in a family with an emotionally absent parent, the other parent is focused on the ‘missing’ one.  So no one is focused on the children.  As a result of … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 53 Comments

Rebels and Scapegoats: How do They Heal?

The second role in this discussion is the rebel, discussed in some detail here.  But there is another point of view about the role of this troubled child and that is that they play the scapegoat for the family. From … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, Louise Behiel, rebel | Tagged , , , , , | 24 Comments

The Problem Child – It’s Not All Bad

In every family with an emotionally absent parent, the children learn and adopt one of four roles to deal with the stress and tension in the family.  These roles are the hero, rebel or scapegoat, mascot and lost child. The … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, adult children, child abuse, Louise Behiel, self help | Tagged , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Why Being The Family Hero Hurts

Monday’s post The Family Hero – It’s Not All Good generated many comments and even a couple of email questions.  Although Thursday is usually a positive day here, I thought I’d change things up a bit and add a bit more … Continue reading

Posted in adult children, healing, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | Tagged , , , , | 48 Comments